Yesterday I finally took the Vaccine. After ‘waiting’ for months. I kept trying to feel weak and sleep as I was advised but after a point I just felt I had to go out and get some Sun.
Sun always helps me feel better.
My sister said I should not, I was being unreasonable. Maybe I was. After a while I got myself a Dark chocolate pastry as a treat and was about to get out of the shop. I noticed a small boy waiting just outside. He was, as most of these street kids, selling tissue papers.
I already knew the routine; I will say no he will pester- I will still look at him and say no anyway – this multiplied by about four times. I did that. But then something happened which was out of routine.
This boy, after I said no the first time, looked at me, and said, “Ok then I want a Red Bag” he announced and didn’t look away – I Paused. Surprised. Amused.
His tone was different. He did not ask me as much as demanded almost. I was taken aback at his directness and also secretly pleased.
I asked him why, he said he had just gotten admission in a nearby school at, Supari studio, and he did not have a school Bag. Okay. I thought ,I knew about this school so he was not lying.
He told me his name was Rahul. I smiled thinking about how often in Bollywood movies, Rahul was the name of the Hero who was often unreasonable and relentless in his ‘quest’.
Anyway, back to Rahul. He also told me where to get the Red Bag from, he stressed on Red. I was on Elco street, in Bandra, which is a shoppers paradise and there were many shops with Bags. I was now in, and Rahul led the way. While walking I asked what class was he studying. He hesitated. He said he was seven years old – Pause – in class one.
His voice dropped. He slowed down, so did I. I could see he was thinking something. He then stopped and looked at me as said, his dad passed away two years ago and he had to drop out of class 1 and start working. But he really wanted to study. So after two years he had managed to get back to school. Good for him I thought.
We were back on the Quest.
Rahul and I stopped at a shop, he asked for his Red bag, examined it and asked for something specific. It was not there. We then went through six shops, while Rahul; looked for specifically what he wanted. He looked like he knew what he had in mind. In the end we almost did not.
He turned around and said, “Sorry Didi, My Red bag is not here”. I told him take another one. He sharply said NO. I was a bit confused and a little tired and irritated by now. Why could he not just take any bag. He was Being Unreasonable. Glad I did not say that out aloud.
He looked prepared to forego an opportunity for a New Bag. This more than anything now made me join his Red Bag Quest. If it was so important for him, we were going to get it – I felt a new determination now.
Three more shops and a short rickshaw ride later. We found it. Rahul’s Red Bag. I was thrilled and relieved. His face broke into the widest smile I had seen, since I met him.
His eye glistened with tears of Joy as did his pierced ear. He stood straighter and touched his Red bag slowly, feeling it with his thin fingers. He adjusted the straps deftly, as if he knew, exactly how he wanted the length. He did not check. He put the tissues in the bag and put the bag on. It was done.
The quest ended
The Red Bag suited him. He did not thank me. He just looked at me. We both just sort of stood there not knowing what to say or do next. It felt like the last page of a really good book. You know it’s going to end and you don’t want it to…just yet.
I stretched the moment.
Just to make sure – I asked Rahul, If this was The Red Bag. Yes he said. This is Exactly the kind of Bag my Papa used to have. He straightened up. Touched the bag again as if touching something else, the wide smile never leaving his face. And without saying anything more, he turned and strode away proudly happy. Leaving me speechless with many emotions and thoughts.
I watched the Unreasonable Rahul with his Red Bag disappear into the Crowd while he left an indelible mark on me.
I thought of just how amazing it was that he knew exactly what he wanted and why he wanted it. How incredible was his confidence in, asking for it. How refreshing it was that he was not willing to compromise and settle for anything less. How his brave little mind and heart worked to find a way to be in touch with his dad. And above all, how Unreasonable he was wiling to be on his quest
This Quest of Rahul- I suspect also changed me in ways I will slowly discover.
As I left the place, The Sun was somehow warmer and softer. I was churning with many questions.
How often do we know what we really want in life or from life. How often do we go after something with that kind of focus. How often we settle for less. How we feel asking made us smaller. We had to be ‘reasonable’ ofcourse. How we so quickly took No for a final answer and did not dare to ask again.
Perhaps, being Unreasonable was not such a bad thing afterall. Perhaps under the ‘guise’ of being reasonable we are trying to ‘hurt proof” ourselves? Perhaps we need a Quest of our own, one that will involve taking risks – of being Vulnerable of hearing a No – of succeeding even. Sure sometimes it will be lonely but was it not worth it in the end? Sure, sometimes it won’t and does not have to make sense to anyone else. But what mattered was that it made sense to you.
As I looked up.
A Quest is a journey that someone takes in order to achieve a goal or complete an important task. Accordingly, the term comes from the Medieval Latin questa, meaning “search” or “inquiry.” Quests are heroic in nature, usually featuring one protagonist who goes on a dangerous mission against all odds to save a group of people or society. Sometimes, the hero sets out on a quest to find a symbolic object, Red Bag, or person and bring it or them back to his home. Quests are the foremost element of any Epic.
In the end, what I found interesting is, The person who began the Quest and the one who ended it are never the same. There is something transformative about it, for all concerned.
I wondered, What would we ask for, do- think -feel – hope, if we were OK with the label of being unreasonable? Perhaps we have been “reasonable” for too long. Perhaps it’s time to find, define our Quest. And be willing to be Unreasonable in our audacity to ask -to dare – to love to dream- to hope – to care for it.
Ride a Wild horse into the Sky
Hold tight to it’s Wings before you die
Whatever else you leave undone
Once, ride a Wild horse into the sun.
Rhea
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