Last evening after a lot of hemming and hawing, my friend Savvy and I decided to go for a Diwali Party, to another dear friend Leela. I had not seen her in over two years. After an early morning long drive to an ancient Ganesh and Shiva temple, we were both tired, but still looking forward to a “party” after almost 2 years.
As the time to get ready and leave neared, I suddenly found myself feeling anxious. How many people would be there. Would we need to stay longer. Would there be lots of things happening etc etc. I felt my heart thumping and thoughts about should I back off, started to come. I did want to see Leela so much, so I decided to power through. I realised I was having social anxiety and I watched myself go through this internal whirlwind in amusement. I had changed so much. I could not believe I was feeling this way. I had to play some soothing music, light incense to calm myself down.
The only thing that kept me motivated was seeing and meeting my friend. Not the food, not the song and dance, not the ‘party’.
Once I calmed down, it got better. It is really fun to do all the girly stuff, get dressed fuss over clothes etc. I realized after I went there I had indeed changed. But Celebrations were still important, they just meant different things now. Perhaps we were growing older, I told Savvy,
I love celebrations. Something so joyful about all the festivities. Growing up we celebrated all the festivals Diwali was special because it went on for 3 days. My grandma and me, did everything. Rangoli, Diya, sweets, clothes, church, midnight mass – everything. She even participated in fancy dress competitions in her hospital, where she worked.
Celebration, is a big parts of my life. But often Celebration conjures the image of Loud music, party, food etc. That was also there. Years ago, My Christmas party were talked about for the next 4 more months. But things changed. As they often do.
Celebration for me, is not just the festival, and birthday but also smaller things. Like someone coming home after a while, My son getting his first salary, a new flower, a blue heart shaped cloud, an so on. Somedays it felt like I was looking for an excuse to celebrate.
Years ago, a very dear friend gifted me an Ipod. Those were early days and it had to be ordered in the US. He managed to it, and also managed to carve a message. I still very fondly remember it. “I Celebrate, therefore I am”. It was absolutely apt.
Sometimes just because we use a word so often we don’t just pause to soak it in.
Celebration is an acknowledgement of something, a moment, a person, a day, a memory, as something that is Meaningful because it brings joy. It is also a coming together of people, it is an experience of a community. It is a way to remember how we used to be, long before the concrete jungle built walls.
Ritual
Celebration is an ancient ritual. The ancient statues and cave paintings are proof that we celebrated. It gives us a way to feel good about ourselves, and our accomplishments. When we celebrate we are reinforcing something important to us. Without it we simply maintain the status quo and candidly have a lot less fun.
Every festival, or event eventually has become a “Ritual”. Something in which we “show up ”differently, whether or not we feel like it at that time we do it anyway. And while doing it, somehow get into the skin of it and actually start to enjoy
Image
In different countries and cultures, “Celebration” is also a reflection of their image. In ancient Greece, Festivals and feasts were held throughout the year. In Athens alone there were 120 days of festivals a year. Most festivals were harvest festivals or religious festivals. As Greece became urbanized more people turned out for these festivals and the activities became more elaborate. Festivals were often financed by the state and were regarded as a reflection on the city’s image.
The amazingness of India’s culture can be found in its many festivals celebrations. The vivid and vivacious festivals of India depicts the colourful celebratory culture. Indians celebrate festivals with sheer enthusiasm and devotion. Often they are connected to change of seasons. In Mumbai, before COVID, celebrating festivities would often take on an aura of healthy competition.
Blending Differences
As human beings, we are revealed and make ourselves known to one another by language, culture, clothing, values, political views philosophy etc. And yet, in celebration all these “differences” somehow go into a melting pot. No one really cares or bothers s about these “markers”.
Before lockdown, I remember our drum circle was playing at Carter road. And people started to come and stand around and slowly as the tempo picked up, more people came pulled in by strangers who were dancing. Very soon there were men , women, runner, old aunties, small children, mean will grumpy faces, hip youngsters all joined in for that hour or so.
Celebration had no religion, no gender, no bias.
In Celebration everyone comes together as ONE entity. How amazing was that. No wonder we keep finding excuses to keep celebrating Because perhaps deep down that is all we want. A community sharing joy.
Yesterday was also , Halloween, and there were children running around tricking an treating. Celebration was everywhere.
Well-being
Studies have proven that Celebrations actually boost our well-being and increase immunity. The associated , “preparations” ensure there is enough exercise trust me. It also enhances feelings of connection and people come together to prepare sweets, sing songs etc.One of the main reasons celebrating is so important is because it reflects an overall attitude of gratitude and enjoying what we have, instead of focusing on what we don’t have or only on what we want in the future.
I also know of some friends who don’t like or enjoy Celebrations. What is the point in celebrating Birthdays, we just got one year closer to the finishing line, is the argument. I used to debate a lot earlier, but now I just let it be to each his own. What I have also noticed is a positive correlation between Celebration and Abundance, of health and wealth.
Spaces where celebration is not welcomed, show marked downward movement on many markers and vice-versa. Energy begets energy, I suppose.
These moments of celebration make us pause, feel grateful, and mindful, and that enhances our sense of self and meaning. So many things could be so much worse or could have gone wrong. And yet here we are able to look up, walk, see..isn’t that worth celebrating?
According to social psychology researcher Fred Bryant and others, when we stop to savour the good stuff, we buffer ourselves against the bad. And build resilience. Even mini-celebrations can plump up the positive emotions which make it easier to manage the daily challenges that cause major stress.
We celebrate beginnings and endings such as birth and death. We celebrate important acts through awards for bravery and accomplishment. We also celebrate the passage of time and longevity of people and events: people’s birthdays, the birth of a nation, the inauguration of a president or other important leader. Celebration is historical. Without celebration, there would be no markers or milestones by which to gauge or judge history. – Tim Hatcher.
Belonging
Last week in a client workshop, a few of the managers shared how one of the main reasons they were unhappy was they did not feel appreciated. The leader was quick to point out at a global scale how they has won many awards. But somehow that did not translate to feeling of belonging. And at the same time, getting a simple “chocolate” at doing something simple brough out so much energy, a sense of camaraderie. When people efforts are celebrated, they feel seen and they have a sense of belonging.
I also on the other hand know of families, who believe, Celebrating “little things” may make the children complacent and not make them push for more. So Celebration and joy is withheld. And appreciation is doled out in stringent measure. It makes me feel sad to think and see what it must be doing them as they grow up. Often there is a feeling of not enough of. And that they have to struggle and earn, celebration.
When we have something to look forward to, or look ahead to something worth celebrating, we feel more optimistic, according to research led by Hadassah Littman-Ovadia. It could be an anniversary, a new assignment, moving house, travel , a marathon—or something simpler but meaningful like a Diwali dinner with friends, a drive on a sunny day or being able to sit for long in a temple.
Where there is Celebration there is Belonging. Where there is Belonging there is Celebration.
Often When I am doing sensing interviews with a Clients, one of the questions I ask, “What does your company celebrate”, The response often tells the kind of Culture that prevails.
We have such a beautiful culture with opportunities of connection. Perhaps we need to celebrate more not just Big things but also the little joys. I imagine when we “celebrate” we show up on the Universe Radar, and can then get tuned in. Perhaps it is a way to say Thank you to the universe for all things we enjoy without really thinking about them.
As we take tentative step out of the Covid, phase, maybe we need to re-enter the social fabric, albeit mindfully. Maybe this time we won’ take each other, these times of togetherness, of sharing laughter, tears, hugs food for granted. Perhaps we will value this ephemeral journey of life more through celebrations. May we Celebrate this moment and every little moment that has gotten us upto this point.
I am so glad we decided to go for the Celebrations after-all. The cherry on the cake, was the Khada Prasad, that my friend Ishmeet made. It is what one gets in the Gurudwara. !!!!. A Blessed day indeed.
Short Story
A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, and not the original books.
So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says, “We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.”
So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks what’s wrong.
“The word is celebrate not celibate,” says the old monk with tears in his eyes.
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