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LOCATION: BANDRA – MUMBAI, INDIA.

You are your own Promised Land. Your Own New frontier.

I am a day delayed in posting this. I moved into my new home yesterday. And today on Janmashtami I write this. It a beautiful  feeling – I feel in Integrity.

Week4, saw us in extremes states, from euphoria to crazy business to grief. We had it all. Sometimes..”our way”. While on the one hand we had the sudden realization of the Beauty of how an “Artist is born” and how we go to such extent to unconsciously kill that process, there was also the realization of, ask and thou shall get (even if its a trip to lonaval) . A difficult week of realization of what the 80 yrs old self would to the  current me. What and why am I putting off and for what? There was also this sudden realisation of what the 8 yrs old would ask us to do.. and that many thing are already being done. Clap Clap. The realization that we have not been having as much fun, as much travel, as much “producing” as consuming hit home hard. In the urge to go fast, do fast.. and to “khatam karo” we have forgotten to augh and stop and smell the pages. Speaking of which , we realising that “Morning pages” could also be written in the afternoon or night. The Realization of deep connecting through hand written notes on the back of photographs and the ground well of love and gratitude. The sudden need for Travelling a locals so, maybe with our a plan and on  a budget. The reading deprivation was a eye opener, some people used it to stop doom scrolling other realised that reading was just consuming and the we need. Balance of consuming and producing. We are experiencing “spiritual chiropractice”. Our self is Aligning. We have as a group begun to “handout” even after the calls.

Week 4: Recovering a sense of integrity and grappling with new self-awareness

A new sense of awareness and clarity emerges as we look in the mirror of Morning Pages and take ourselves out on more challenging Artist Dates. Morning Pages, done over an extended period of time, perform a kind of ‘spiritual chiropractic’, writes Julia. They realign our values and point us towards our Personal truth of what we really feel, what we want and who we are. After all for Self expression the “Self” must be known. The week is also about doing the ‘Kriyas’ the acts, that will trigger the very core. Unearthing Buried Dreams and reading deprivation will open up the ‘pandoras box’

Honest Changes

As if there are other types. But we do often delude ourselves in a ‘quick fix’ way of doint this, winging it and believe we are fooling the others. But all the while when we say “its Okay” – it sometimes may not be, and also it’s a lazy way to respond to life. Blasé at best. What does “I feel okay” really convey? It can imply resignation, acceptance, or even a suppression of deeper emotions. This vague term often hints at an underlying loss. In the privacy of morning pages, we can express our true feelings without fear of judgment, allowing us to confront denial and take the first steps toward healing. Many shy away from this practice when they’re reluctant to face their emotions, finding excuses to avoid writing when something uncomfortable is lurking beneath the surface. Whether it’s anger or the fear of disrupting a moment of happiness, morning pages provide a space for self-discovery, helping us stay connected to our inner selves. And this week is about being Honest to these Changes, in an honest way.

Creativity is based on reality.

People often think the artistic life is a life based on fantasy. It is not. It is based on truth. Personal Truth. The one that honest changes help us keep walking on.  As we lose our vagueness about our self, our values, our life situation, we become available to the moment. We become original because we become something specific, an origin from which our work flows.

This ofcourse may feel disorienting. We may find ourselves in ‘liminal space” – the Terra incognita.  We had built a false sense of self, and letting that go leaves us fresh and unsure of our edges. What follows is shifts in taste and perception — You may find yourself giving away old clothes you no longer want, shoes, book, things, move houses, repainting rooms, reorganizing spaces and schedules to fit a new sense of direction. We are coming back into integrity with who we really are. it can be exhausting but also relived. .

{When buried dream slowly start to come out.. this is what it looks like – Bliss – Photo: This is Trishna)

Buried Dreams: An exercise.

This was fun, shocking and revealing. As recovering creatives, we often have to excavate our own pasts for the shards of buried dreams and delights. Do a little fast and furious digging. Here is a Snapshot of this exercise. (Go ahead an just do it and see) This is an exercise in spontaneity, write quickly: speed inundates the censor.

List:

  • hobbies that sound fun
  • classes that sound fun
  • 5 things you personally would NEVER do that sound fun
  • skills that would be fun to have
  • 5 things you used to enjoy doing
  • silly things you’d like to try once

Reading Deprivation

This I admit was the hardest. Not just because I like to read but also because when asked t deprive, I want to do  it even more. Reading deprivation serves as a powerful reset, akin to a detox for the mind. It can also be a distraction, and escape from “reality”.(which growing up was for me) . The truth is, we often consume the thoughts of others instead of nurturing our own, leading to a stagnation of personal expression. By committing to this week of minimal external input, we can tap into our inner reservoir of creativity, allowing our unique ideas and emotions to emerge and flourish. And as someone in group put it we may go from consuming to producing. It was also interesting to listening to what all people did do when they did not read.

Some shares

Lots of cleaning happening
I have decided to crib less and plan more
My letter from my 80yrs old scared me, She would admonish me for sure, saying – how are you not dancing more. Girl you are wasting your time
I saw a silly movie and I was the loudest in the theatre – I want to laugh more.
Hobbies are used for producing more
We need a balance between consuming (read reading) and producing  – doing
I am getting  declutter and be focused on 3 things. the photography and Healing
I used the reading deprivation differently to stop the urge to doom scroll
I realised I do everything fast – “khatam kardo” attitude. This way I will also die fast.  I want to change this
Celebrating my spontaneous trip to goa
In my parent house, I still like to sleep on sofa watching TV – I default to my childhood mode.  I want o be more conscious
I am slipping on my practices – I want to get rigour back
I hate other people’s rules
I have been dutifully doing my morning pages even If I have not read the chapter fully
Can I do Moring pages any other time of the day?
Was a difficult week emotionally.
I wan to spend the rest of my life travelling
Have more fun – write an illustration book
I wan to do rally – rough driving
Reconnecting with my dad through the hand written notes on the back of photographs
Lost of grief – love welling up

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