Yesterday a Crow send me a piece of earth.
Literally.
In the form of a broken tile all the way from the Sabarmati Gandhi ashram.
Krishna, my friend brough it to me. He told me how when he was in Gandhiji house a crow suddenly flew and a tile fell at his feet.
As I sit and hold this ..I feel..Truth in my hand. Hard.. broken.. beautiful and Solid.
A few days ago, my crow came at his regular time to my window. Demanding he be fed. He can be quite insistent., this fellow. Often.
Relentless even. And no sooner do I keep his eats he jumps on it.
Sometimes I have had to get off my Zoom call to go and give him something.
I was upset over something that was deeply hurting me. It was a conversation about religion and divides and what we are going through. I was grieving.
My crow came .. and started to demand.
I had no energy or heart to get up..but he was ..well him.
I got up… remembering the lines from “the poem The Invitation”
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief
and despair – weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
In this case..the birds.
I did.. I have done this before.
I gave him his food almost on autopilot.
And then something happened…that just shook and woke me up….
My crow did not jump to the food. He just sat and kept cawing. Looking at me.
I changed the food put more things.. and he, and now his friend came …did not touch it. They just sat there..
I was crying..and they were cawing.. And in a strange way I felt connected and comforted…
I forgot I was human and they were birds…in those few minutes..all there was, was compassion.
They somehow .. knew I was upset..and that became more important than food. I cried with the crows. And felt..in some really strange ways, seen heard and understood.
They flew away without touching the food…but having touched my soul deeply.
After a couple of hours when I felt better .I went the window and called out to them.
They came. And ate.
I am left wondering what does it mean to be Human? What does it mean to be a Bird. What does it mean to be with someone. Are feelings only felt by humans. And how would we know?
Somedays I don’t know ..where I end and the birds begin. Even yesterday, I saw and sat with a Kingfisher..for a long time. It felt as if we were in a conversation.
I remember these lines from a song from the Film Refugee…
Panchi nadiya pawan ke jhonke, Koi sarhad na inhe roke
Sarhadein insaano ke liye hai
Socho tumne aur maine kya paaya insaan hoke
Birds, rivers and winds….no borders can sever top them.
Borders are made for Humans.
Alas!! Look ..what have we achieved – by being humans.
Maybe we feel so alone because we have disconnected from the birds…and don’t really take time to sit and to listen to them
A few weeks ago when an Owl came inside my home, I felt him saying something. A friend laughed and said..
‘How do you know what they are saying ? do you speak bird.’
Ehhhrr ..No.
‘Then ..how do you know what they are saying.”
Silence…
‘Do you speak English..?, I asked in English.
He looked at me confused…’Of course… silly. “
“Do you know what I am saying?.
Silence.
Sigh!!..
When will we learn. Connection transcends Boundaries…
As I sit and reflect with this piece of tile..I am left with how we all want Truth..we all want Gandhi..just as long as he is not born in our house.
I once had a sparrow alight on my shoulder for a moment while I was hoeing in a village garden, and I felt that I was more distinguished by that circumstance than I should have been by any epaulet I could have worn. – Thoreau
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