Day 15 – Unboxing

Today is my Sons Birthday. This day 25 yrs ago, both he and I became free. Both of us unboxed. Both of us were new to the role. Both of us are learning and teaching each other about this role, even till this day. I didn’t become a mother and he didn’t become a son. We are both learning and becoming and the process I suspect will continue. Just like our country today continues to learn at 75 how to be a people, a country. Happy independence journey

Yesterday, a simple banter following a friends doodle, on being happy by being in the present and conversation about the getting or missing the gifts and how we all get the gift but often don’t open the box. So very true. And sometimes frustrating as well. It’s not like we keep the box not wanting the gift, if only we knew how.

I have heard this about me and I have said it to many. Yet, every time someone says.. ”you know you have so much potential the but is trailed off but loud nevertheless”.. I Know !! (I scream in my head). How do we access the potential, How do we open the Gift. how do we get to it.

I remember two things:

The movie Lamhe (moments), that came some time ago and was a movie much ahead of its times, about a relationship between the protagonist, a young  man with an older woman, who loves and eventually marries somebody else. And then dies at childbirth. Her daughter, who looks just like her, now falls in love with our protagonist. He avoids seeing or meeting her at all costs but sends her “Gifts” for each of her birthdays, which she does not open. Insisting she will ONLY take it from him. On her 18^th birthday he comes and she makes him personally give her each years gift and finally opens them.

We get the gifts, but receive them only when we are ready.

I am of course reminded of my life. Only two years ago, I finally came to terms with the word Artist being associated with me – Why is a different story.

I wonder – What are we waiting for or who, to receive our gifts?. Do we have someone in our mind, perhaps a parent or someone significant, who must “bless” the gift and only then it can be received. What are we doing in the interim – simply waiting?. Are we stuck in some time loop then? What do we do with all the gifts that we did get- but have yet not received?

Second, in the same movie because the girl is now so impatient because she has denied herself her gifts for so long, she now literally tears the wrapping and boxes. This scene somehow stayed in my mind, even then as mildly disturbing.  I remember thinking ,what a waste. She can no longer truly appreciate the gift of other ages.

I remember when my siblings and I would get gifts, sometimes nicely wrapped in boxes. Our fascination with the actual gift was quite short lived. Very soon we could be more interested in the gift box. I am sure this is true for many. The thrill of making different things with the box was way more than playing with the gift which would typically be a predictable toy or a board game etc. which had finite uses. But the box now that was a different story. I used to also collect shinny chocolate wrappers. And again make so many other things which gave so much more joy. My imagination and creativity were thanks to the box and wrapper. And the other part, which I learnt when I  had to wrap gifts, I took so much time in doing that. Why do we warp gifts?

It makes me wonder about a few things. Why this obsession with the ‘gift’. What does it mean for us as we grow up (my assumption). What is the Box for us then. Is it the process of uncovering our gifts. Is it the experience or experiences that folded and unfolded to reveal to us the gift? Those experiences, which come in so many shapes sizes colours and are far more versatile than the gift itself. Do we throw them away or preserve the wrappers and keep finding different uses. Do we wrap it, to somehow preserve the mystery? And let someone, ”work their way into opening it?” I am reminded of  Steve jobs and this elaborate design of the packing and nature and the way she” wraps” her most precious seeds as fruits.

What if the “gift” was just a ruse to get us to be curious, creative and engaged in the process of experiencing. Perhaps, we have been misled all along by the notion of Gifts as something we get or have.  The image of the stork delivering a gift wrapped baby was perhaps more true than we know?

Maybe all along we ARE the Gift. And the experiences and encounters have been the wrappings and boxes that slowly reveal to us this gift. Like the proverbial, musk deer who looks and searches everywhere for the fragrance that was always in his core. Perhaps we need to pause to look at the box, the wrappings – Not always it is a shinny pink paper with a fancy bow. Sometimes its plain brown but practical – sometimes it’s hard cardboard and sturdy, sometimes it newspaper and gentle and sometimes it’ bubble wrap that sounds like care every-times it pops. In every case, though it convey care and though.

With news of what is going on in some parts of the word, with people who we know, independence has a new almost precious quality. I hope we don’t take it for granted. I do hope we don’t tear away at the box and the wrappings in a hurry as we unbox. May we remember that many many people and experiences have gone as wrappings for this day. Happy Independence day to ALL. May we continue to unbox.