Dictionary defines it as, the medieval forerunner of chemistry, concerned with the transmutation of matter, in particular with attempts to convert base metals into gold or find a universal elixir – Or a ‘seemingly’ inexplicable or mysterious transmuting.
Alchemy is form of speculative thought that has the power to transform. Their secretive experiments, usually involved heat and the mixing of liquids. It roots also corresponds to astrology, which is apparently an older tradition.
Both – Alchemy and Astrology represent attempts to discover the relationship of man to the cosmos and to explore that relationship to his benefit.
All this I kind of have heard about and understood at an ‘intellectual level’ – Yesterday in a coaching session I saw this ”concept’ come alive for me.
I don’t want to use her name and she would not like to be called by any other name – so I am going to refer to her as “Yi” (yee) – This is the Story of Yi.
Two months ago when Yi’s sister approached me for coaching her, she was tentative. She cried I could see the pain and concern of an elder sister. Yi had just been operated for tongue cancer. I told her that I would need to meet and talk to her sister myself. I was not sure how I could be able to handle, if I could be able to handle. If Yi wanted to be coached at all, and if yes for what?
When I met her, I knew my apprehension were baseless and probably spoke more about me. Yi was such a breath of fresh air. She was angry and she did not mince her words. She said she was tired of all the “help” people were trying to do. She was frustrated with all the various “interventions”, astrologers, gurus, doctors, etc. She was not looking to be fixed. Thank god.
She was in pain, and she did not hide it, did not apologize for it, did not shy away from desiring, did not shy away from stating her desire clearly. Did not hold back from sharing her confusions. And all the while never blaming anyone. She was at war. But not with anyone else – not even with herself – but with this ‘invisible’ thing that she could feel rising and her struggle in trying to listen to it – to understand and articulate it – to name it. The fire of alchemy was turned on full blast. And Yi was burning. .
After 2 quick sessions she had to take a break, since she was starting radiation. I could feel her moving. Yi’s caring sister called me again, worried that Yi had suddenly refused radiation. She was going to listen to herself. Good for her I thought, she had begun her own internal “Radiation”. I told her I believed completely in Yi and that maybe she should too. (It is difficult to share this when care takers operate from fear laced worry.)
Yesterday I had a session with her. She looked healthy, radiant even. And She had her usual intense and high energy of someone who is not afraid and dances on that verge of the unknown.
She told me about her choosing to not go ahead with the radiation because, as an after effect she could not taste salt and sugar. What was the point she said, as a matter of fact. “I love eating, I cook well, why should I not eat and taste. Longevity was not the only goal”. She stated her argument to her “well wishers” clearly. If others cannot really understand my pain then I decide what and how I want to do with body. Fair enough.
The argument was sound and so was her spirit. She burst into peals of laughter, as she complimented herself on her sense of humour, while she on the operating table. Even as she told me of the skin grafts and the dryness and the discovery. She did not blame anyone. Her humour was contagious we laughed a lot and it was such a relief for both. How we assume we need to only be somber around such ‘delicate’ conversations. If we laugh it may insult etc. I wonder if we do take ourselves too seriously often.
Yi was defying many such assumptions. Such amazing spirit. Somehow not wasting the fire in blaming she was claiming. She told me, that although she was in a lot of pain, she knew she was happy, because she had brought this on for a reason, and now she could see that reason and so, in acknowledging and accepting this, she felt free. She realised she knew this for a long time but did not have the courage to face it, she had allowed herself to be distracted. This distraction, amongst other things looked like fighting and blaming family, others and life in general. This cancer she gushed and sighed, had freed her. Made her realise the truth in such nuanced way. She had put that fire to other use. She felt healthier. She also told me she had started to learn Astrology to understand what was happening to her. I smiled at how the universe operates.
She told me she could now say everything that she had uptill now had not been able to say, because now they are listening. So I make full use of this opportunity she said in her full throated laughter way.
Yi had transformed her pain into a process of alchemy and claimed her own personal Gold. She wore her scars and pain with joy and pride. She looked freer lighter than when I first met her – which was amazingly just 2 months ago.
What a gift this Encounter.
Maybe we need to reflect on what really do we mean by healthy, whole, free, happy. Is it a goal, is it a state or is it a decision. How do we participate in this magical process of alchemy ourselves. Pain, was inevitable but suffering could be transmuted. How do we not let the fire burn us or others – but instead, burn the things which are no longer useful, base metal thoughts and perceptions perhaps. How sometimes people who care can unknowingly become the impediment and stop you in strange ‘loving’ ways from your own souls journey. How we are those people sometimes, and how to be and remain aware of not projecting our own inadequacies, guilt, shame, fear, worry, control and label it as “care”. Alchemy is after all a cosmological phenomenon so we are not alone in this for sure. Maybe it’s time we went on a Gold search within ourselves.
Coaching as a container sometimes can be an alchemical process for both the coach and the coachee. I for one ,felt transformed in this journey.
May her tribe increase. Yi in Chinese means ONE
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