Last evening we had a singing soiree , with my teacher who I am learning Sufi singing from, and a few friends, It was one of the most joyful situations, and yet deep down I felt waves of sadness and strange rumbling in the pit of my stomach and my skin still feels like it is on fire. Somewhere she mentioned the nazm that we had learnt a few months ago, it was the first time I heard it – and yet even then I had broken down. That time we were in the thick of the Israel Palestine war.
Bol, ke lab azaad hai tere:
Bol, zabaan ab tak teri hai,
Tera sutwan jism hai tera –
Bol, ke jaan ab tak teri hai.
Speak out! Your words are free.
Speak up! Your tongue is still your own.
Your body remains yours, ramrod, erect.
Speak out! Your life is still your own.
Is it? am I? – Are we … Free.
This poetry by Faiz was written during the times of revolution, when the great unrest was on, when freedom was at stake. Years later, when I look around – I feel we are still again in the same place. The times of great unrest. A great revolution. One that people are not free to speak about. Sometimes the rawness can get too much and so we rationalise, give logic, look at the ‘bright side’. I feel claustrophobic
Why are we not free to speak? – My guess is because we are not even aware we are not free. Even at the basic levels – are we making our choices of technology, of purchase of food, of our perception of reality through newspaper and tv? No. We think we are making the choices – we think we are independent.
And why are we not aware – because we got used to – forgot and fell asleep. In the dream of “progress” that is sold to us every day – everywhere. And I suspect it begins as a process of insidious shaming, if you don’t have something, somehow it means you are less, and so not “included”. And because we have collectively bought into the myth of separation, of not belonging, this need is exploited. We need to belong. And we are so desperately wanting to fill this hollow that we buy into “the Dream”.
Is it progress? –
That we are less and less aware and awake?
That we cannot have conversations without the compelling need to check the phone?
That we have to take supplements because the natural food has become so rare that it has become expensive.
That we drive to the gym, and pay to run?
That we have to take pills to sleep.
That we pay more price for devises that make us, think and feel less?
That we pride ourselves in knowing more and sensing less.
That people who build and run our homes have to flee to theirs without help?
That children feel more connected to their online friends than their own ‘real family and friends?
That an artistic representation of a tree is admired and cared for more than the tree on the road.
That the things that nature gave us in abundance and free are now being harnessed and “Used”.
HOW is this progress? – My entire system feels on fire, as I feel angry, hurt and helpless.
Some of my dear friends and family tell me- “Don’t take it personally”
How can I, how can anybody, not take it personally. Isn’t that the root of the problem?. In these pandemic times this perspective atleast I hope has changed. When one persons wellbeing has a direct impact on others – one has to take it personally. And it is personal. Till it did not happen to someone in my immediate family –Covid was a phenomenon. That could be talk about. Then it became real.
A couple of years ago, my friends from Kashmir, Altaf and his wife, who I have known for a long time, and have also stayed with them in their beautiful home in Srinagar, when we were doing some work with schoolchildren and the youth, had come to Bombay with their little son. The preceding months had been very tough for them with the situation in Kashmir, they had to stay at locked up in their home – food was scarce, no going out – no contact with the outer world. I cannot even imagine it.
When we met at a dinner hosted for them, around coffee they were sharing some stories and how difficult it was. Their young son, maybe 5yrs asked his mom – Innocently as children do – “Are we safe here mom”. Silence !!!! It tore my heart to pieces.
How did we, as humanity end up in this state where a five year old needs to know the meaning of Safe – What is his mother supposed to answer. There was a silence in the room and I could the heart beats of everyone in the room and the blood pounding in my ears. The shame rising up in my cheeks.
We have collectively failed our coming generations.
This mother was also, asking the question of us, silently. What were we supposed to answer this mother. What are we, collectively to answer Mother Earth? How much more plunging, digging, building are going to do – and for what?
What will we do with all the technology if there are no people left? What will we do with the “land” if there are no trees left, because the soil is caked with blood. What will we do with all the fancy supplements when our internal systems fail due to lack of oxygen. Are we sensing this “Bleak reality” that is coming and so we are escaping to the “Virtual Reality”, to other planets?
I know I am not alone in feeling this. We feel these burning questions to which we have no answers. The anger the grief is real and thick and we feel helpless. So to avoid all this we “get busy” – distract NOT talk about our feelings.
But perhaps we need to. Isse kya hoga? “What will come of this” – Frankly, I don’t know. But the unspoken and unseen is looming large, and perhaps if we start with our own self and our people and atleast share this – the pain of the world which is also our pain can be witnessed and perhaps heal? If we are at war inside – we will create wars outside.
It’s time for a revolution in deeper Sensing and Sense making
Can we talk about the invisible, unspoken and not try to fix it or blame it. More separation is not the answer. I feel it’s time for a different kind of Revolution. Time for the unspoken to be not ‘Unsafe’.For this myth of separation to be examined. For the shackles of our own minds, and habits and stories to be broken free. And bring forth the GIFT’S we are each given but have been told they are ”Not fit” – ‘not good enough” in the world.They may not be enough in the world but they are enough for the world. This is how we got controlled through shame and guilt and fear. In recognising and honouring our Gifts – our soul wakes up and recognises it’s connection to the whole. Then it CANNOT be controlled.
It time to let the Art , the Beauty the Love – the Invisible ‘stuff’ come out and pave and lead the way – to build a bridge between the visible and the invisible world. So we see and know, we belong. Or else we are LOST. This is an Inside out revolution.
How close does anything have to get till it becomes personal?
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