Truth Is unknowable, but it can be perceived by pursuing what is untrue.
Last 8 months I have had the practice of “Being unoffendable”. For me to begin with the premise was, ‘being offended’ was another self-righteous form of separation. And somehow gave self a permission to also be harmful, hurtful to another. And it did not feel in congruence.
I realized that when someone said or did something, and it “hurt”, while the pain itself, as a feeling was truthful, the story of the hurt (the meaning) was untrue.
In deep democracy (a method of uncovering and holding the visible and the invisible) , there is a concept of The golden arrow.
When someone hit arrows(deliberately or not does not matter) and the arrow that does hit, meaning it causes a strong emotional reaction, is the Golden arrow. It hits because it has found a mark inside me.
A place that is still untrue. And so not resonant.
One has to then gently very gently.. pull the arow out. Of course, no matter how gently you remove some bleeding is inevitable. And then sit and listen to the wisdom of the arrow.
What Truth is it telling me. What really got hurt. How was it untrue. And in doing so restore some more, truth back into my system.
Unfortunately, what we do end up doing (when we get offended) is hit another arrow on the back of the golden arrow, and drive it deeper. Or worse, hit the other with the arrows (not realizing that wont stop our pain anyway)
It sounds like either judging/blaming/shaming self.. or the other or both.
Example:
A little while ago someone told me I was very unorganized and all over the place. I was furious and lashed out. And then I started to alternate between feeling horrible and justifying my behavior, this wasn’t the first time. And when the hurt got too much, I judged the intention of the other or questioned their behavior also. But in the being unoffendable experiment, I realized it hurt, because it was true. And it was “hitting” the untruth which I had to see. So I decided to extract the arrow and sit with it.
The wisdom of the Golden arrow for me was I believed being creative gave me the license to be NOT be organized and disciplined.
The untruth was that being creative and disciplined were opposites.
“Truth will set you free- but first it will piss you off” – Gloria Steinem
Truth, like light cannot be seen, but we can see other things through and with it.
Perhaps if we sit with our own arrows the blood shed that is happening all around the world may be reduce?
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