Day 31 – Amazing Grace

Some words at the right time go a long way and so does some Grace. !!

Last two days the weather has been weird. It feels like it will rain, but does not. Finally some little respite yesterday, I stepped out. I like just “aimlessly walking”  – it helps unfurl my mind and let it meander – It was in the afternoon on the quiet streets of Bandra.

I saw a sight which stoped me in my tracks, and evoked respect and a deep sense of admiration.

A mother and her two kids were begging in front of some shops. Someone gave a half eaten cupcake to the little boy, maybe about five years, thin dirty, wearing a red singlet. He eagerly took it broke into a smile, he had a missing front tooth. He reminded me of Christmas. He took it hastily moved to a quieter part of the street to enjoy this treat. I noticed he didn’t just gobble it up. He looked hungry enough to do that.  He was eating it as a treat should be, slowly savouring it. A few bites on, a bunch of crows hopped towards him expectantly. I was intrigued to see what would happen next. The little boy looked at them, and with just about a moment’s hesitation, his smile unchanged, as he took some of his half cake and gave it to the crows. In spite of myself I had tears in my eyes. This act of the child was grace in action. How Amazing I thought. My heart felt lighter at being able to just witness this beauty. This grace. This quiet strength. This was compassion of a different type. This did not involve choice, It was clear.

This encounter and this child, made me think of Grace.

It’s a kind of invisible elegant strength of character. It’s not soft and mushy, although there is nothing wrong with that either, Grace takes strength and will power even. It has a sense of seeing with knowing which does not need saying, often. It is an inner location. In which the person disappears. And only his/her presence remains.

Grace in action, is a practice of Disappearing.

It takes a lot of grace to not correct trivial mistakes, to not say , “I told you so”, to ask for help when you don’t need it, to not adjust the frame in somebody else house, even when you see it not straight,  to forgive even when it is not sought, to say sorry without going on a guilt trip, to truly appreciate somebody else’s work uninhibitedly, to challenges even when it is hard. It takes grace to hold and swallow your own story when you sense another wanting space and offering it gracefully, without saying. It takes grace to not make everything about you. It takes grace to look away, just before someone is about to feel awkward or embarrassed. It takes grace to disappear.

Grace has a quality of Beauty – Displayed grace is graceless and ugly even

I know of people, who are often overtly trying to be graceful, and I have a hard time being around them. The conversations are often always about them. It’s tiring. The covert bit is when they talk about how they think you are amazing. At the end you are not sure who is really appreciated. It’s also funny, because I feel they do think no one really notices.

And then there are those, who appear and gift you their presence. With a quality of subtlety.  In the last one week, I met one such woman, Pralene, from South Africa, she reached out on LinkedIn. She is an amazing poet and photographer. Many of her pieces are in appreciation of other people. She has a certain grace. It does not take way from her or the others. One can only truly give gracefully, from a place of abundance. It evokes Joy. Both in giving and receiving. And in this case noticing.

Grace is sensing into the timelessness of the moment and holding it gently. Not rushing not grabbing, anything.  It feels beyond the notion of equality, it does not even enter the race. There is a certain beauty about it, which has a way of touching and nourishing someone’s soul. Even if it is someone like me watching from far.

My mind wanders, like me walking, feeling deeply grateful for all the amazing people who have touched my life in graceful ways. In times sometimes I did not even deserve and yet they did. They let me save my dignity. Let me believe in myself more. Let me be more audacious.

Grace does not aim for control or perfection – It does not evoke shame.  

I am in awe at what this encounter with Grace leaves you with.

I remember an incident, which is etched in my mind and heart. I was studying in class one, in Little Angel’s School, my dad used to work with Air India at that time. And my  English teacher Annie Miss would tease me all the time about asking my dad to give her a free ticket.

This was a time I was to go on an “Aeroplane” trip for the first time. There was still more than a month for the trip. But I was so excited. I went announcing from the roof tops. I was also very fond of books, stars and collecting Shiny stones, coins, cards, flowers. Like many other children.

So, as was inevitable, the, not-so-little, “Rumour” that I was going on a trip reached Annie Miss. And in her English class she asked me, in front of the whole class, what was I going to get for her from “Foreign” (Anywhere in an Aeroplane was foreign, by the way)

And I looked at her, I really liked her, she had hair like my doll and I wanted to get the BEST for her. So I said, “I will get Stars for you Miss” – and obviously not in a poetic way, because I really thought when I was in an aeroplane and going through the sky, I could just put my hand out and ‘pluck’ some stars out. Simple!!, That was my plan anyway, since I loved stars, just an added note to self to get some for her as well…

She said thank you, smiled at me and then asked me to see her in the staff room at recess. I have to tell you, being called in the ‘staff room’ isn’t the most exciting thing, even when you like the teacher. Anyway, mustering all my courage, and my best ‘Brave face’ – I walked to her in the staff room. 

When I reached her, she smiled, bent down and took a zippered transparent plastic bag out of her handbag, and gently gave it to me. Without a word.

I looked at it quizzically, not really knowing what to make of it.. Annie Miss smiled, as said, “When you pluck the stars that you are going to get for me, Put them in this bag and lock the zip. That way you can also see them and they won’t fall off your hand”, OK? I nodded, thought it was good idea, took the bag and left the room.

Just like that, with a smile and a plastic bag and a dollop of grace,  Annie miss, my teacher gave me a whole ‘other’ world. I did not end up going anywhere, by the way. But I had found a way to reach for the stars.

Years later, when I think of this incident, I realise that I came out of that room to a new me…Someone who believed she could do anything!!!. Get the stars even,  if she wanted there was not an iota of doubt in my heart about whether it “possible” or not.  

It was of course possible. Annie miss said so.

She didn’t scorn at my childish idea, she didn’t laugh and patronize me,  she didn’t correct my understanding thankfully and give me a long lecture on how., Stars really are very far off and of course didn’t laugh and tell me it was ridiculous to think of opening the windows in the airplane.

No logic. No ‘her’ – Nothing. And yet in her Faith – I had everything.

I am not sure  she knows just how far that zip lock bag has gone. I  have grown to believe in Magic… in Stars, in the art of subtlety,  in audacious hope

I wonder how many such opportunities we have on a daily basic to alter the course of history, with just a little grace. How many lives we touch, in both ways, the course of which we will never know. The little boy on the street, has left an imprint on my heart forever.

Perhaps that is what “legacy” must mean. Not a thing but a place in someone’s heart that always gives them hope and strength on recall.  Perhaps we have gotten so lost in the Visible that this kind of invisible quality sometimes seems unfathomable. Perhaps this is an invitation to see if we can connect with others around us with a little more grace as a way to perhaps pay it forward.

As Ann Lamlot says, “The beauty of Grace is it meets us where we are. But does not leave us there”

Every now and then to take a mindless stroll and thinking about the moments when Grace touched us, can perhaps remind us of it in the way we think and perceive the world. This would be touching eternity. Maybe we need to contemplate on how can Grace be cultivated as a living practice. Perhaps this, can help us as humanity to Fall upwards and take us home

Noticing the graceful nature of Nature helps. I feel Grateful even as I notice this gentle Zephyr touching my face gracefully, just about.