Day 6 – Maps are Lost.

A map is something used to navigate unknown territory.

The term “map” derives from Latin “mappa,” a word meaning in antiquity, a napkin, or a cloth or flag used to signal the start of games. By the ninth century at the latest the term “mappa mundi” could be used to describe a representation of the known world.(Wikipedia. )

I for one, am someone who gets lost in the same place many times. And No I don’t think we can go with the gender stereotyping. I have many friends who are women and are superb. (I guess my dyscalculia will be blamed conveniently)

I used to rely on my instincts (and got along fine). But using the phone map now , has dulled my instincts to a point where I sometimes experience mild panic when I am in an unknown areas and for navigation, rely on the phone and the connection does not work.  It happened yesterday, and I was still in Bandra, where I live and yet in some numerous small lanes  (which when I am not panicking I call quaint) , I got lost.

I got lost – because the MAP stopped working.

I had an argument with my rickshaw fellow, saying, turn at the basilica of St john (It was written on the MAP, we were where it was supposed to be, but it was NOT there. And so I did not know where to go. I could ‘see’ it was not there. But I was still upset at, how can it be on the Map and not there in reality.( I watched myself slowly inching towards feeling cheated)

Thankfully, my rickshaw driver said, ”Map kabhi kabhi galti karta hai maam”, he said (Sometimes the Map makes mistakes, maam) – in a patient tone, that told me he has had to say this many times to many people.

After a few moments of deep breathing, I was shocked to notice, a few things:

1. I had gotten used to trusting the “representational system” MORE that what was actually there (reality)
2. I had (almost) lost my ability to trust my instincts when it came to finding a place
3. My ‘notion’ of trust was tilted in favour of the inanimate map, more that the human being.

I apologised. Got off and started to notice and walk. As the anxiety of reaching reduced I realised, I was not lost. I was just not where I imagined I should be, by the time I hoped to be. The panic had made me lose touch and not notice. Where I was (which by the way was a couple of minutes away from the shop I wanted to go to).

Note to self: If I was on a holiday – this same predicament would be written in my diary as – I was exploring the new place and quite enjoying the surprises.

As I walked I thought of where “WE” as humans are in these Covid (or Post Covid) times.

The territory in reality has changed. Things, people, ways, norms are not the same as they used to be. The way home-work- relationship- travels- socializing,  has changed. Some landmark “shops” have disappeared. For many children their stories of childhood are changing. The way the earth was has changed and is changing even as we speak. And yet, the Map in our minds has not been updated ( for some).

We still expect the familiar comfort of ‘control’, having a Map gives. And we may be (like me) refusing to SEE that world is not the same and we may have to start really noticing what is happening and not fool ourselves with the idea of a MAP. And maybe, start once again to trust our own instincts and have the courage to follow them. Map is one thing- having an ‘inner’ Compass is another.

The Unknown is not always unknowable. And perhaps it’s OK to sometimes to get lost, so that we find ourselves in different newer territories..newer narratives, that will open something up – which was NOT there on the MAP.

After all – Map is only used to describe a representation of the known world.

To quote from my favourite, Tolkein – Who created to a NEW map to a tell a different Story.