Last month we had a session at One Design on Heartistree, offered by Kiran Gulrajani. Exploring what makes our heart sing and what holds it back. One of the facilitators was a young very talented singer, Vishrut. He sings with his whole being and one cannot, not be affected by it. Everyone joined, of course.
And at some point the conversation drifted to lullaby’s. And everyone was animatedly talking about the ones they sang for their kids or the ones their mothers singing to them.. and so on. It made me wonder what was so touching about this….
While the rest of the workshop was engaging , the MOST effortless and sustained engagement was in this part, the singing. Including the joining of a guest, David, an American, who has been living in India for a few year, and enthusiastically learning hindi. He joined with “Singing a Hindi song”
I have been mulling over what are some things we already practice that build social bonds, inside and out.
When we hear songs, and join in with our voice we seems to remember something, some time where we felt held, safe and belonged. It’s almost a cellular level memory that gets evoked. And there is an immediate feeling of wellbeing an connection, with ourselves and therefore with the others. It does not matter if we know the others.
This is why perhaps we have the Ritual of National Anthems. The ones who sing immediately subscribe to the behaviour and a collective identity of a “Citizen”. Speaking of National Anthems…
“God respects me when I work, but he loves me when I sing.” – Rabindranath Tagore
I am pretty sure everyone has memories of picnics or get togethers and some version of “Antakshri”, game of singing. There is often the one person with a guitar or some music instrument, which becomes a focal point to start the singing.
I wonder why has such a known, tried and tested “Practice” not yet been adopted in organisations, institution or even families on a regular basis. Especially knowing the, not so covert need for connection, belonging, cohesiveness and mental and emotional wellbeing as Integral to creativity, effectiveness and increased productivity.
Many I find , still pass this with a little more than a cursory glance thinking of this as woo-woo. It amuses me sometimes, how little we can see of what is hidden in plain sight
Even the nihilist philosopher, Nietzsche loved it.
Music heals all forms of misery”
– Friedrich Nietzsche.
Every culture, has a form of singing together. We KNOW that. There has to be some sense to that, even if we don’t know what that sense it. Why must we reinvent the wheel
On trying to find more about the connection between collective singing and social bonding. I stumbled on lot of research
Studies find that singing in a choir helps forge social bonds—and it even make you healthier
Having grown up in a Christian house hold, this one was a given. It true in Most religion, there is always some form of singing together. Whether it’s Bhajan, Sufi or others.
Human evolution and Music
Over our evolutionary history, humans have faced the problem of how to create and maintain social bonds in progressively larger groups compared to those of our primate ancestors. Evidence from historical and anthropological records suggests that group music-making might act as a mechanism by which this large-scale social bonding could occur.
Creating and maintaining positive social relationships is essential for human beings physical and mental health and well-being. Furthermore, social support enhances the survival of an individual’s children, meaning that being part of a supportive social network may increase reproductive success. Social networks provide practical and emotional support as well as providing a means of gaining new information and disseminating the cultural knowledge crucial for human survival (writes Jacques Launay and Robin I. M. Dunbar )
Designing for Social bonds:
Very often, I find myself and others quickly, give the ‘excuse” of I am an Introvert, and hence cannot “socialize” – like them (The extroverts)
I have found, this to not be true when it comes to singing. Introverts AND extroverts like to sing, especially together. Where there is social bonding but no social Pressure of “performing” solo.
Where on the one hand creating and maintaining personal relationships requires investment of time and energy. And both being(seemingly) finite, it does create a constraint, on the number of personal relationships that an individual can maintain through one-on-one interactions in order to build a heathy social web of belonging.
Generating sense of cohesion in large groups, therefore, requires some means of emotionally connecting many individuals simultaneously, without the need for direct dyadic interaction. It needs behaviour in a many to many model.
Ta-da !! Enter Singing together
Singing is a Universal Human Behavioural Capacity
Singing is found in all human societies and can be performed to some extent by the vast majority of humans: singing is a universal human behavioural capacity, and this implies it must have had an evolutionary role.
Music has been used in different cultures throughout history in many healing rituals, and is already used as a therapy in our own culture (for the relief of mental illness, breathing conditions, and language impairment, for example).
A lot of support for this comes from the association between singing and the release of neuropeptides known to be associated with social bonding: oxytocin.
Endorphin is implicated in mother–infant bonds, romantic relationships and social touch in humans and appears to be released during synchronous behaviours that involve doing something together. Marching, dancing, orchestra, singing, and laughter particularly in social contexts.
As a coordinated and often synchronous activity – It immediately signals to the brain its safe and that I BELONG.
Overall, the universal nature of human singing and its consistent association with social behaviour suggests that it could have evolved as a mechanism of bonding social groups.
Everyone can sing, and so, everyone must be able to sing Together. As a conscious designed social behaviour
Singing together as a Ritual
Even on a personal note (pun intended) , last two and half years I have been learning Sufi singing from my Teacher Radhika Sood. Every Friday at 10.30 – 11.30 is MY Ritual. Whatever else is going on through the week, in that one ritual I feel I ground. And the times when I have not been able to, I find kind of disoriented and not have my feet on the ground. Post the session I have a sense of more integrated-ness.
(Note: It doesn’t last a life time, hence “Rituals” – periodically and yet continually doing it. )
And I wonder why has such a known, tried and tested “Practice” not yet been adopted in organisations, institution or even families on a regular basis. Especially knowing the, not so covert need for connection, belonging, cohesiveness and mental and emotional wellbeing as Integral to creativity, effectiveness and increased productivity.
Many I find , will still pass this with a little more than a cursory glance, thinking of this as woo-woo. It amuses me sometimes, how we sometimes cant see what is hidden in plain sight.
Even the nihilist philosopher, Nietzsche loved it.
Music heals all forms of misery”
– Friedrich Nietzsche.
This myth of I will appear more professional, and productive if I am not “playing around” – may be worth examining with the glaring already present data.
Maybe organisation need to create deliberate spaces and Rituals FOR this to happens to increase the social bonding. Team building workshops help, but only temporarily. The effect as we all know does not really sustain over time.
Celebration and Music are two very readily available “mechanism” for bonding and belonging. How do we tap into those?.
Perhaps we need to really sit and mull over what is the Evolutionary impulse asking of us NOW.
Are we listing to it?
Are we willing to take the responsibility for future generations of NOT listening to it?
What will it take (if not such a Global Pandemic) for us to WAKE up to the reality and necessity of an Interdependence world.
What will we do to REMEMBER who we truly are, We are aCommunity INSIDE of us. OF trillion of living cells, all kinds of bacterial, viruses etc etc.
How ca we reconnect through connecting our Voices.
