Yesterday, while driving a friend ended up enthusiastically showing me a YouTube channel of her colleague, who has been posting good content on how to motivate and engage young children to online learning- Tips and tricks for parents. He has started to make money, so obviously there is traffic.
I did end up watching his 15 min video, which had 10 tips. Wake them up, make sure they are fed, dressed up in proper clothes not pajamas, so they feel it is like a school, learn their school morning song, and sing it for them, make sure they are in a quiet room and not facing an open window, because they are children and can easily get distracted by outside things. Make sure there is no other noise like a kitchen mixer or TV – You see children were extremely susceptible to distraction. We need to make sure we had the full attention. And the most important thing, parents must not show their true feelings about how they were tired sometimes with online work. After all children learn from watching their parents. Sure, I thought eyes rolling, children should like online learning does not matter If they, because of course they learn from watching, learn how to hide their true feelings and lie with ‘Good intentions’ .
Phew !! I was tired listening to all this. And glad that I was past that time. My heart also did go out to all the parents who in addition to all other things had to learn this as well. It was a lot of work. All of this was ‘good advice’ judging by the number of likes and adverts. And yet somehow it left me feeling uneasy. But I could not really put my finger on it.
I did wonder about how a whole set of new challenges have sprung up in the wake of Covid. And the adoption of home schooling. Not too long ago home schooling was talked about as if it was some exotic thing. Like an art movie only some people could even understand what it meant. It was so alien for so many, including me. It just I guess talked about how ‘programmed’ we had become. Until I met some dear friends who were home schooling and despite myself I felt so much pride and respect. It was a major “decision” in the parenting journey. And now, the decision was made on behalf of the parents, by these circumstances.
A short distance later, caught in the traffic jam, I was just looking out of the window and suddenly a sight caught my eye. Under a large rain tree some homeless people had their encampment. Not at all an unusual sight here in Mumbai. One sees mostly women and children. I am often quite intrigued by the women, some of them are so beautiful in their traditional jewelry and head covered, dirty but still elegant in very natural way, and there is also something about the eyes, like, as if seeing all the suffering makes their eyes shine and they can literally see your soul. Perhaps that is why sometimes we avoid looking into them when they come begging. Anyway, I digress.
And so I was well, looking with curiosity. On one side I saw a small crowd mostly very young children about three four of them, maybe in the ages ranging from 3 – 6. They were sitting tightly gathered around one woman. I got curious, but I was not able to get a view.
We moved ahead slightly and then I saw it. The woman had a phone in her hand, and she was showing something on the screen and talking to the kids. They littles ones were clamoring to get a view and were asking questions pointing to it. I realized as we got closer and I could hear them, she was teaching, perhaps to make something, I am not sure. I was taken aback. At the context repetition.
And as I zoomed out and took in the rest of the view, I saw, pretty much the opposite of what I heard on the popular channel as required conditions for learning. They were slum dwellers, the kids were barely clothed, perhaps they had eaten that day, I hoped, they were living under a tree in the open, the traffic was all around them, cars honking people shouting and talking some stray dog barking, a few feet away two older kids fighting. In all this and these kids were still in rapt attention. Nothing distracted them.
The juxtaposition of the two contexts was very stark. It literally took my breath away.. for a long time, I was quiet. Remembering how I enjoyed learning sitting under trees. I could not help but notice the ‘haves’ struggling to get their children to pay attention, while the ‘Have nots’ had it with no effort. Just on that axis, ‘Privilege’ seemed to defy popular definition.
Attention and Availability seemed to be inversely proportional. In the Urban context when there were resources are available, the attention span and quality were low. And the opposite in the case of the rural. I can honestly not able put a label on either.
It made me wonder about what do we really mean when we say “privilege”. Is it a unidimensional definition? Is it contextual. Was it a fixed notion or was it a perception? It made me wonder who to feel good about and who to feel sorry for. I wasn’t sure anymore. It drove home certainly the inadequacy of a “Single Story” of someone.
Privilege was also an opportunity to make and exercise a choice. Of course often it is invisible to those who have it.
Going further I wonder if this Attention being inversely proportional to availability also applies to us.
Last year, when the lock down was complete and things were not so ‘available’ we paid more attention to what we ate, how much we consume, what really was in the kitchen etc. When oxygen became less available we paid more attention to our breath. When immunity reduced we paid attention to the health of our loved ones and ourselves. When we lost people or were going to we suddenly realized their value.
I wonder, why do we need to do this. Why do we need to lose something to value it. Why does our attention drop when there is abundance? Is this why, we get lured in to spending, by creating a perception of lack or non –availability to get our attention? Is this why the reality of climate change is not yet hitting home? Is this why, while not too long ago people complained about work life balance, but when work from home started and home life was in abundance, more separations have also happened?. This way of operating, will certainly continue the feeling and notion of scarcity, it will be sold to us, packaged as fear. And many more YouTube channels will tell us how to relate with our children. I smile, thinking if my grandma were here would certainly put her hands of her hips and walk away shaking her head in amusement and an a huff
Perhaps it’s time to really see and notice. The trees, the messy streets, the chaos, the beauty, the confusion, the children, the eyes of the people on the street. See the opportunity to witness our children learning, and maybe appreciate the hard work teachers have been doing all this time. Perhaps it’s time to show our true feelings, and let our children know, we are not super humans we also get irritated, feel sorry are anxious. Maybe that is what the new emerging world is needing, people who are ready to be Real.
Privilege may not always be real – But Real is certainly a Privilege.
Watching the ablaze setting sun. Sliding more into my quiet zone…I let out my held breath. Knowing as it disappeared from here somewhere else it will be a new Dawn..
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