It sounds like an Oxymoron – But isn’t.
A dear friend pointed out to me the phrase “mindlessly walking”. She wondered how could I be mindlessly walking If I was also noticing. As I contemplated this and really try to notice what was I, therefore really doing, what do I really do, loved doing when I go for these ‘random’ walks. I love walking by the way.
I realized…she was right. When I wrote mindless, I meant less mind.
I realized what I was doing, is Purposeful Meandering.
Meandering is wandering with alertness. The alertness then opens up the panorama of the environment, that is often ‘invisible’ to us.
The funny thing is as soon as we have a goal, we often switch off this alert mode. It’s akin to boarding a bus and buying a ticket for a destination ten stops later. For all the first nine, you can go to sleep, literally and figuratively. Because you knew exactly where you had to get off. But if you were in a new place and you did not know exactly, you would be alert at every stop, notice more, read the passing signs, made a mental note, stay more tuned and awake. To your surroundings. Because you don’t want to get lost. This bus analogy is applicable to life.
Purposeful Meandering, can save us from getting Lost.
That is how it is Purposeful.
When I am not following a fixed route or goal, I am relaxed and more open to my sensing not stressed about getting there. And I am rewarded often by nature and gods literally. When I have either done a lot of mental work or am anxious or very happy, or feel the gentle nudge of something from the invisible realm asking for attention…I follow the elements. With some of my friends its now a running joke, the first thing they ask me is am I out. Often the answer is yes.
I am more In when I am Out.
One of the things it does for me is fine tune intuitive sensing, clear my muddled thoughts, listen to the invisible. I realized we all did all this, ‘meandering, as children, when we would just look up and watch clouds become animals, now when word cloud comes, data follows. Sigh !!.
It also boosts my sense of wellbeing, by handing over my stuff to nature. Just like that. To see the sun, the butterfly, the sky reflecting in the puddle, the beautiful flowers and the amazing crows – these are some of my favorite things.
“Love was not a thunderbolt, but a meandering river, an accumulation of accidents, the momentum of details” – Simon Sebag Montefioren
Meandering also allows me to meander in thinking, it lets me think fresh thoughts not regurgitate and call that thinking.
I noticed people are in a hurry to ascribe meaning to an incident or experience, often. “So, what does this mean” , It makes me very uncomfortable, I feel my breathing increase pace, as if I have to give some answer quickly. ”I don’t know is often not acceptable”. I don’t think when he wrote ‘Man’s search for meaning’, Viktor Frankly meant this. I have often wondered about this rushing for meaning too quickly. Perhaps it is a way for us to handle our inner anxiety of not knowing. Somehow we feel once we give it a meaning we can neatly pack and put it away in “labelled” drawer. But meandering, being ok with not knowing for some time, also means building the muscle for Uncertainty and ambiguity. The meaning does come, richer, fuller, creative, more whole and beautiful and often surprisingly loud and clear. So why the effort me thinks.
Perhaps we could be less stressed and more open if we meandered more? Perhaps we would be pointed in the right direction if we did not have a fixed goal all the time. Perhaps when they say travel changes you, this is what they mean. Maybe, the VUCA world needs more meandering and pondering. And Less search for meaning. Maybe we need a Practice called Meandering.
If we meandered more we would be less Lost.
The ironical thing is, we are actually ‘meandering’ through life, but we just don’t know that. We think we know. But we often really don’t. We have collectively agreed to play pretend. Do we know, where we are going to get off? What is it that we really want? Our goal? We like to appear as if we do, sure. Perhaps it gives us a sense of being Important and significance, and less vulnerable maybe. As little prince would say, Grownups are funny.
“In doing what we are doing – what are we really doing?”- Raghu
I remember this extract from one of my favorite books, The Colour Purple, by Alice walker. This is a scene when the protagonist, Celie, who has been a devout Christian all her life and having suffered atrociously, one day is upset and says to her new friend Avery, that she is very angry, and will stop going to church. ‘Why do you go to church’, Avery asks to find God, Celie replies. “But do you?”- No. Avery then goes on, you don’t find god, because God is not there, people have come and quietly taken pieces of him home bit by bit. People come to church, so that nobody finds this out. They pretend. Everyone knows this in their hearts, but collectively they will still pretend.
I always though this really intriguing. That lies should hold people together not the truth.
Celie concludes that God must be angry then, when people don’t go to church. Avery then responds…
“I think it pisses God off if you walk by the colour purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it.’ ‘What it do when it pissed off?’ I ast. ‘Oh, it make something else. People think pleasing God is all God care about. But any fool living in the world can see it always trying to please us back.’ ‘Yeah?’ I say. ‘Yeah,’ she say. ‘It always making little surprises and springing them on us when us least expect.’ ‘You mean it want to be loved, just like the bible say.’ ‘Yes, Celie,’ she say. ‘Everything want to be loved.”
― Alice Walker, The Colour Purple
This is a dialogue between two women who become friends. How pertinent, I think as I smile. Thank you, Preeti for pointing this out to me and for helping me Meander more.
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