My earliest experience of a prayer that works was when I was 4. I grew up with my grandma in Mumbai, while my parents were in Goa. One day, I heard some conversation, with worried tones about a storm that was to hit Goa. I was worried for my Mom. But, I couldn’t really talk about it to anyone. We had an altar and a picture of Jesus. I remember consciously going down on my knees and praying. Later at night, I happened to catch the news on TV which said, the storm had passed and did not land in Goa.
These two events could have been purely coincidental, and I still don’t know how I ‘happened’ to see this very thing on TV. But something clicked inside me. I saw the two events, as connected. Through the prayer. And that day – I knew prayers worked, and God was real and listens.
That incident remains deeply etched in my mind and heart. And after that anytime I needed something, wanted to share something, I could just pray. It was a lot easier and more reliable, than asking or sharing with other ‘people’.
We literally have conversation with the unseen, unknown. We represent it in many forms.
So, why do we pray? What is a prayer.
Prayer, I feel is our Master Hack. We hand over the controls to the Invisible, through this ancient ‘ritual’ of prayer. In a prayer we acknowledge the “power center” outside of us and so it does an override of our own fears and limitations. We call this invisible – God or Spirit or Nature. Many different names – But in essence that unseen something. That is real and can be communicated with. Can be depended on. It does not matter how we define our faith.
Some of my friends vehemently announce they are atheist. That they don’t Believe in God. And they believe in this with all their heart.I find it really quite cute. I know this behaviour also. It’s yet another form of rebelling. Some of us are closet spiritualists.
I find, the minute we say I believe, what follows is a Prayer. We have just put faith in the Unknown – it has already become an involuntary prayer. Yes there are involuntary prayers also. And often they are more potent.
Prayers, God, the Unseen does not differentiate. It does ‘not’ judge. It does not demand protocols.
We have created God in our Image. We think he/she/ it wants and thinks like we do. This ofcourse leads, sometimes to a fear based relationship. I find this quite intriguing that we don’t consider therefore, that God must also, by extension of the same logic, have created us in his Image? and that we are perfect therefore if we are his creation? We are convenient in our beliefs for sure.
My mother’s side of the family were Missionaries, and my Nani was a church caretaker. And whenever I went, often reluctantly, to her house, I had a hard time. She had very rigid protocols. There was a certain way only that God would listen. And if you don’t do that, god will punish, was liberally implied.
I remember once I was listening to ‘The dancing queen’, by Abba on my Walkman sitting on the church steps. It was quiet, I liked it. My Nani walked towards me furiously and yelled at me and said I was ‘Sinning’ – I did not know what that meant. She said I could not listen to songs here, this was God’s place. I remember finding this funny and confusing. She was a very tiny -very strict woman. I stopped the song, and asked her where could I go to listen to music, that was not god’s place. I meant it sincerely. She was still very angry and she pointed to the gates. I did walk out. I did not go to that church after that.
Homes and spaces where ‘Access to God’ is restricted, I get very uncomfortable, I feel I don’t belong.
I found this notion of punishment and fear driven “protocols” very disturbing. In my grandma’s house, I was free to pray wherever, in which ever way, whenever, to whoever. We celebrated all the festivals in their own ways, there were still rituals, but there was joy not fear in following them. Christmas, all three days of Diwali, Eid, Ganesh Chaturthi, all nine days of Devi Pooja – everything. I remember we were constantly “celebrating” something or the other. I was allowed to make my own diyas even with mud. And there was an Abundance of “Gods”.
This stark difference stayed with me. It did not speak as much about the god and prayers as the people who held that space.
I have often wondered why does it feel so centered and peaceful when we pray. I feel it’s because we open the portal on the verge and connect to the other side through this act. We have unlimited bandwidth. And hence the master Hack.
Praying takes off the pressure to know all the how’s, what’s, when’s. It takes away the anxiety of the outcome and also the weight of the responsibility. It allows us to get out of our own way. It lets us have faith in something bigger than ourselves.
Yesterday, while travelling in rickshaw I saw a beautiful sight. I saw a homeless man, siting on the pavement in the middle of a busy street and praying. And it made me realize just how equalising, and personal this act of praying is. How it did not need a particular way, or place or form. In a prayer everyone was equal, anywhere was equal. I saw, like me others also seeing him, and in that one moment, for that one moment FAITH was reinstated in the my heart and in the World.
Prayer at once is Personal and Universal.
A few months ago when my son had Covid and was hospitalised, I was anxious. One evening I was sitting on Bandstand and reading the Bible, Deepika, a ten years old street girl, who was selling tissues, walked up to me in that direct way that only children can. She looked at the bible, and announced she loved Jesus. And, asked why was I reading it. When I told her about my son, and that he was still in the hospital. She spontaneously closed her eyes, asked me to hold hands and offered a prayer for him. Just like that. She bounced off after ‘gifting” me the tissue pack.
The next day, when I went to meet my son in the hospital, the doctors looked at his reports surprised and said we could take him home that very day, although according to the original ‘plan’ he was to be at the hospital another 3 days. I have no doubt, that Deepika’s prayers were so pure that they were powerful. And they changed the way reality unfolded.
I was, am – very Grateful. God shows up in many forms.
Perhaps we don’t often think of the powerful tool we have. To reach out to heal, ourselves and others. Perhaps we need to pray more often not just for ourselves but for others, the trees the animals the oceans. Does not matter how. Perhaps is we opened ourselves up to the possibility that God , like Deepika, could come in any form, we would see and treat other ‘beings’ differently?
Perhaps we need to think about prayer as an active Action, to “contribute” to the world, instead of feeling Helpless. Just because we don’t always “See” the result the way we want to or expect, does not mean the prayers are not answered. The Invisible has its way. We need faith to surrender.
Perhaps, we need to hand over controls a lot more and lot more often than we do. After all, if we could have figured out the solution we would have. It also reduces effort.
Perhaps if we see our life as prayers answered, we would be more mindful of what we are asking for?
Every Thought is a prayer -and Every prayer is Answered.
3 Comments