In conversation with a couple of friends a few days ago..the conversation predictably drifted to grief, and the struggle with ..integrating it.
One friend shared how there was a place inside him ..that saw and witnessed this ..suffering ..and was not suffering.. or grieving..
WHY…long pause!!!! (and there was a familiar pain in his voice.. ) can’t we be there..in that place all the time..
Why do we HAVE to go through all this..mess
I understood ..perfectly — Why indeed
Of course ..I quickly remind myself, I don’t ask that question when I am having a good time….hummm
And I didn’t have any answer..
So in that shared silence , as we mulled over this question….without any background music..
I slipped into a reverie .. and … A memory came up ….
As children, we would get this..”Kidney shaped” hard orange coloured candy..(some of you may remember it) every once in a while..
I must say, in a middle class home, it was a luxury. I would play this game of seeing whose sweet lasted longer…
I would tuck it away in my cheek and go about doing other things… for the first few minutes I would keep sucking at it..but very soon I would forget it is there…as I may have gotten busy playing….
And I remember ..after quite sometime ..I would suddenly remember it.. and It would have gone dry..in my mouth..gotten stuck to the inside of my cheek…(I remember it leaving an impression also)
So the candy was there.. but it did not give any juice..any sweetness.
And so, I now had to deliberately pull — move — toss and turn it ..for it to give it sweetness…and savour the juice…that would suddenly start flowing
Sure with it –came the risk of it.. dissolving, but then..
What was the point of a Candy.. that was not giving its juice..
What was the Point of a Candy that was not giving its juice
Coming out of the reverie… I realized.
Same was true with life..and the “place” that is not touched with any tossing and turning..
No Movement — No Juice
If only I remember this ..in the tossing times..
Know Movement — Know juice.
~ Rhea
