Author: Rhea

Yesterday I finally took the Vaccine. After ‘waiting’ for months. I kept trying to feel weak and sleep as I was advised but after a point I just felt I had to go out and get some Sun. Sun always helps me feel better. My sister said I should not, I was being unreasonable. Maybe I was. After a while I got myself a Dark chocolate pastry as a treat and was about to get out of the shop. I noticed a small boy waiting just outside. He was, as most of these street kids, selling tissue papers. I…

Wait, Waiting – I have had a strange love-hate relationship with this word. And even stranger experience. It feels like a suspended Pause, but it isn’t – It just looks like a pause on the outside – but it is a State. It can often be long and not quite the same always on the inside. Waiting is defined as to remain stationary in readiness or expectation Waiting for food, waiting for someone, waiting outside a shop, waiting while being waited on, waiting in a queue, waiting for the rains, waiting for the sun, waiting for the result, waiting for…

Anita my maid, made a comment that one of the plants is “Falling off”. She laughed. She was right. The same plant in two different ‘spaces’ was behaving differently. I had an intuitive sense, But I decided to check and experiment anyway. I am going to call them Circular plant and Falling plant. Both are the same variety. The Circular one, was well, in a circular pot, and growing in all directions. It was the one that kept “moving”, well I kept moving it, in different places in the house. The falling plant, was in a cup, and it had…

My earliest experience of a prayer that works was when I was 4. I grew up with my grandma in Mumbai, while my parents were in Goa. One day, I heard some conversation, with worried tones about a storm that was to hit Goa. I was worried for my Mom. But, I couldn’t really talk about it to anyone. We had an altar and a picture of Jesus. I remember consciously going down on my knees and praying. Later at night, I happened to catch the news on TV which said, the storm had passed and did not land in…

After many years, yesterday I went with some school friends to a hangout, albeit reluctantly. This place played really loud nonstop, Bollywood music. The place was packed with many people, I had mild social anxiety. It was also called Social funnily. At one point they played this Hindi number… “Tofah”.. Tofah”..I remember, It is kind of slow-mo echoes in the movie picturization, and the DJ stopped the music, and the people then complete the “echoes”. The sudden stop of the noise and the Echoes was very interesting. It made me think of Echoes. It brought back, memories. Some years ago,…

Someone I am coaching mentioned the series ‘The good doctor’. I generally don’t prefer hospital series, but I ended up watching this. Watching the doctor who is Autistic and how just to manage everyday “normal” functions, which for most people is so obvious, takes so much, brought up a lot of stuff for me. I had, have Dyscalculia. A learning challenge with numbers and mathematics. And I remember having severe anxiety pangs during maths class. I just could not see numbers. It started when in class two I forgot a table and the teacher, Miss Raman, pronounced me as “Being…

Last evening with two dear friends something beautiful was born. And I felt the familiar feeling of deep gratitude to the invisible realm and wonder. One of the Identities, that I am slowly becoming comfortable sharing openly is that of a Doula. I came to know I was one ‘accidentally’. 28 days after the birth of my son, my best friend went into labour. And since she had asked me to be with her, I was. Not really knowing what to to do. But I need not have worried, spirit took over. The moment of watching the miracle of child…

It sounds like an Oxymoron – But isn’t. A dear friend pointed out to me the phrase “mindlessly walking”. She wondered how could I be mindlessly walking If I was also noticing. As I contemplated this and really try to notice what was I, therefore really doing, what do I really do, loved doing when I go for these ‘random’ walks. I love walking by the way. I realized…she was right. When I wrote mindless, I meant less mind. I realized what I was doing, is Purposeful Meandering. Meandering is wandering with alertness. The alertness then opens up the panorama…

You look like you belong here, someone said to me, as I was sitting and reading in a café. I smiled politely and continued reading. If I had responded I would have snapped. I didn’t really know why then. But I do now. The word “Belonging” just touches a chord. A nerve that is often raw. I don’t belong. I have adapted – I wanted to say. But it wasn’t his fault and I wasn’t really going to say that statement to him in any case. I have learnt to adapt to my environment. But that did not mean I…

Some words at the right time go a long way and so does some Grace. !! Last two days the weather has been weird. It feels like it will rain, but does not. Finally some little respite yesterday, I stepped out. I like just “aimlessly walking” – it helps unfurl my mind and let it meander – It was in the afternoon on the quiet streets of Bandra. I saw a sight which stoped me in my tracks, and evoked respect and a deep sense of admiration. A mother and her two kids were begging in front of some shops.…