I have been a bit under the weather, the weather has been strange grey. I was feeling cold and I rubbed my hands and feet. We do it automatically . To produce some warmth. And I thought of ‘Friction’
The second this word is uttered it brings up connotations like rough, resistance, unpleasant, discomfort etc even to the word. And so of course we avoid it, atleast try to – we would prefer things to be ‘smooth’. I remember during my engineering days, we used to use rough files to smooth pieces of metal. I have always loved the “Applied” part of science.
One of my interest is Tribology. Tribology is defined as ‘the study of friction, and design of interacting surfaces”. I am interested because I am interested in how Tribes are built and work. The Tribology and Tribe connection is purely coincidental. It is also quite handy given how much I move things around in the house.
Friction is thought to be Negative something that pushes people away. But Infact – It is the Opposite.
The definition: Friction is the resistance to motion of one object moving relative to another. It is not a fundamental force, like gravity or electromagnetism. Instead, scientists believe it is the result of the electromagnetic attraction between charged particles in two touching surfaces. So it is attraction not repulsion. To put it simply friction only happens when there is attraction.
Human beings, have our very own electromagnetic field. And so friction is a Biological imperative, that we psychologically avoid.
And it is avoided because it is ‘mis-understood’ – as the bad guy. Frictions causes heat sure. I have seen and experienced, “Friction” being avoided in interactions and conversation for years, I do too, and this leads to low trust with best intentions. And very soon there is nothing left to say and people drift away. Not wanting to lie to themselves or the other. Or worse, there is gossip.
We ‘Use’ friction all the times, we just don’t see it as such. When we walk when we speak eat. Most of the ‘gadgets’ we use, vehicles we travel in, things we hold everyday use friction. Without “Friction” we could not be able to stand, hold eat or speak.
In nature, there are no completely frictionless environments: even in deep space, tiny particles of matter may interact, causing friction.
A few days ago I was on a basketball court, overlooking the ocean. I held and shot the hoop after years. It was an exhilarating experience.
In school I used to play basketball, I represented under 16 for the state. I really enjoyed playing. Our school did not a wooden court, and so we were taken to a different school which did. Those days, we had a brand of shoes called Judo shoes. They were blue and white, ankle length.
After sometimes, the soles would wear off, and we would skid on the wooden court. We did not have the means to buy fancy shoes or new ones every time they wore, so we found a hack. We used to get razor blades and cut the soles with in a criss-cross way. These ‘cuts’ would create Friction and that would stop us from skidding and falling.
We actually had to create friction to stay on the court. And play the game. Too smooth and we would slip and fall. In order to be Agile we needed friction.
I wonder, are we then by choosing no friction, doing a cop-out of, ‘The game, what ever that maybe? What will it take to create and hold ‘positive friction” – that is, one that creates heat and serves. To bring things, people closer. By having more authentic conversations. I must admit it’s not always easy, and I am still learning. But still worth it.
Change means movement. Movement means friction. Only in the frictionless vacuum of a non existent abstract world can movement or change occur without that abrasive friction of conflict.
Saul Alinsky
Friction, led to a huge turning point in the history of civilisation, by “accidentally” discovering fire. It is the point where two things meet. Fire is bound to happen. Energy is bound to get generated.
Perhaps it’s time we learn to stay in the friction. Use the heat to see what kind of ‘fire’ is possible and what may it turn into. Perhaps if we learnt to “talk about things that could cause friction” we may not need to act it out in way that are more damaging. Perhaps we could not be so alienated from one another and operate from fear. Maybe we can have real connections when we have real friction.
Friction after all is proof of interaction. Proof of attraction. Proof of energy and heat. Proof of life.
Maybe we need to pause to think therefore when we say no to friction – What all are we really saying no to.
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