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“With Great Power comes Great Electricity Bill”

It’s funny, witty and true.

After almost 19 months I am in a, in person leadership offsite. And as we know no leadership offsite eveR happens without the use of this word – POWER. And I felt both a ‘surge’ and drain of energy at different times of the day.

This equation with power is such a mysterious thing. Many people know what it but can’t define it, many want it but often can’t handle.

Before we dismiss it , lets us take a moment to remember the Monitor or Prefect BADGE. And how we wanted it, overtly or covertly and how those of us who did have it feel. And also, those of us who did not have it, and interacted with the ‘monitors’ feel.  I belonged to the second category.

Power is also often used in negative connotation.

And yet, What was so seductive, about Power?

Dictionary says, “The ability or capacity to do something or act in a particular way.

The ability to act or produce an effect, through influencing others or Situations

By this definition, we have a taste of power as soon as we can cry and ask for milk. So, power is NOT new. And is inherent to all. And yet, many can’t own and hold it, while many learn to give it away, voluntarily but not always consciously.

We often confuse and interchangeably use the words – Power and Authority.

Definition: The power to give orders or make decisions :  – The power or right to direct or control someone or something

Power is a personal trait derived from an inner knowing, knowledge and expertise – Authority is a formal title or position given by a system another personal.

Power is an entity’s or individual’s ability to influence or direct others, while authority is influence that is predicated on perceived legitimacy.

Authority is legitimate and formal, while Power is neither. Does not mean it is the opposite

And,

Both Power and Authority can be lost and authority is especially easy to be taken away.

We have a really close relationship with these two things, as soon as we are Born. We have the power and our parent has the Authority. And Right there and then this long unfolding journey begins.

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world

But it’s often perceived to be at odds but does not have to be. If you have the Authority and Power it can be a greater combination.

British wit, G. K. Chesterton was dining with a literary friend in London one day, their conversation turned to the subject of power and authority. At one point, Chesterton remarked, “If a rhinoceros were to enter this restaurant now, there is no denying he would have great power here. But I should be the first to rise and assure him that he had no authority whatsoever.”

Power here is NOT positional.  

Growing up, I have seen and experience both. And I have had different reactions to both.

With my Grandma, she had the Power, to influence my thinking and behaviour. I willingly went along.

While my Dad, used his Authority, “Position” to wield power and influence my behavior. I rebelled.

For years I have wondered about this. For years I have “defied” authority.

There were a few things that were different in both “Styles”

In case of my grandma, she did not use her Authority, although she could have. That is to say, she did not make or dictate my decisions. She let me think and arrive at them on my own. And when she did need to, we had a dialogue, there was explanation and rationale given. And still “Not Forced”. I still don’t respond favourably to Force

I got to have a say. I could be heard. And I got respect. I could say no or yes and they were acceptable. Not necessarily agreeable every time, but still.

In case of my dad. There was perhaps only use of authority. I remember he would get very upset with me, if  both my slippers were not pointing in the same direction. I found it really annoying and would often ask, tell me why is it important. Not like they are going to go off on their own anyway..in different direction.  In some of my funny imagination, I imagined my dad dreaming of that happening and then running behind them. Anyway I dreamt a lot of silly stuff.

Years later, I learnt the word OCD and went ohhhh now I get it.

I would still get into a lot of heated arguments asking for reason. All I would get was louder voice. I was so not used to this way of decision making that I could not just comply. My simple request was  – “Either you convince me or I will convince you.”

In my work and other experience I have come across lots of people who have this “Authority Issue” – meaning issues with authority but often not enough personal Power to deal with them in a constructive way.

We carry this unresolved issue to college and work life and eventually to relationships. I would often find myself in argument and challenging any professor or manager, who said, “Do it because I told you so”.  I told you sodoes not work. For me.

I had to do a lot of work to see that I was super imposing my dad on “authority figures” and then still continuing the childhood drama. Just knowing it helps me catch it every now and then. I don’t get into as many arguments and now have learnt o see the correlations between Authority and Power.

Only when I started to empathize and start healing, I began to see beneath this “aggression of authority”

It had to do with Internal Power. I have often seen. When People do not experience internal power their insistence of using Authority is higher.

Often Power, real power that is to say, the ability to make something happen, influence people etc, is a function of inner conviction and goodness of heart. Rooted in a clear “Purpose” . Such power then automatically pulls people – Authority or No authority.

We have many such examples in history. Gandhiji, had Person power, no authority and yet he moved the nation. Such power can be felt, I am sure we have all some instance when we met someone, who exuded power. Its like field that emanates.

Power is Not Positive or Negative. What we use it for depending on the inner core, makes it so.

We also had historical evidence of such negatively used power.  And sometimes we just had to look back at our own personal history to see how power is used to manipulate.

Yesterday a colleague commented about a participant, “she is able to own and Hold power. Not everyone can do that.” The previous session had suddenly generated a lot of energy and heat – literally.

It was an interesting  phenomena. Power generated ENERGY. It made me think of Power in physics terms.  

In physics, power is defined as the amount of energy transferred or converted per unit time.

A power generator is, as its name implies, is a device capable of generating energy. Energy is a fundamental resource and we are completely dependent on it to be able to do the most common tasks of everyday life

So when we want Power we really want EnergyNo wonder when power is taken away, we feel depleted.

So, we inherently have POWER and through the process of growing up it is systematically taken away by different institutions and “Authority figures”. Starting from parents, to teacher, to ‘popular friends’ to government, to bosses, to customers to a million systems.

We give away power to tradition, to beliefs, to rituals, to notions, to memories, to fear, to Roles, to definitions so on and so forth.

These same things can also GIIVE Power, if it comes from an internal locus. From ones inner voice. I have found, I place my locus of Power in something unchanging and always there, like God, or Nature helps me to know I won’t  run out of power. All I need to do is plug in.

Phew just thinking of it like this makes me tired.

Since it is now established as Energy as a commodity. We also give away and trade power for something.  We often give away our power in exchange for love, peace, belonging and safety.

But I have often seen that the result is then, we are just empty “ shells” in those contexts. Powerless – energy drained. We also give away our power to other emotions. Like fear, shame, care etc.

Fear of losing someone or something is often at the heart of voluntary and unconscious giving up of power.

I know this. I have been there done that. It is not sustainable.

I have two Issues with this barter.

  1. It assumes that Power (energy) is finite and a zero sum game. For one to have the other HAS to lose. Incorrect assumption
  2. It assumes the Locus of power is ‘outside’ of us

Inner Power

I do feel, perhaps we need to tap into our own inner power. So much is lost, human connection, opportunity to do so much more, influence for creating a better world, simply because we are waiting for “Authority” to start exercising power. Even though empirical data shows us otherwise.

Perhaps we have forgotten who we are on the Inside, and let some people, manipulate and tell us otherwise. And we have naively believed that.

“Power is like Wasabi -If you are not used to it can go straight to your head”

Parent and teacher are our biggest influencers but not all their methods unselfish. And it is ok, Nobody is perfect.

But when we know better we must do better.

Inner power is like suddenly connecting to a transformer. Often if we are not grounded, literally it can also burn and destroy us and everything around us.

Perhaps that is why we have God, or universe and the “higher power”. Because we intuitively know our limitations ad humans. But to be fair, even gods lost it many times. When They did not use their power well. ..so I guess its ok.

Maybe if we see Power as Energy we will know it is Infinite. And we don’t have to “divide” it.

Years ago when I came across Celestine Prophecy, by James Redfield and the four ways in which we form and act out control dramas as  strategies to protect our energy and how it results in Power games

Maybe its time we stop this Drama, and start to live more authentically connected to the infinite power that is dep with our soul.

Since energy cannot be created nor be destroyed. It only gets converted form one form to another.  Perhaps they way we are deploying our energy, our power is not working for our own mental, emotional or even planetary health. We have collectively bought into this “Powerless” story.  It is story because we are living breathing entities with energy coursing through us and around us. We can tap into it anytime if we  give up this story.

But we don’t, because the Story now gives us power. And we are then sadly stuck in the loop.

True deep freedom, freedom to be to express to ask to matter is stake. We are paying too high an electricity Bill anyway. Power theft, literally and metaphorically is also a reality. We still need to remain alert for “power thief’s”, who want to use it but don’t want to pay.

Perhaps it time we also used this power to light up out inner and outer world.

Our Power in n Our hands.

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